Saturday, December 7, 2013

"We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"



Blog Assignment: "We Don't Say Those Words in Class!"
It is amazingly unusual, how young children will notice differences in each other and often, to the consternation of the adults around them, have no problem vocalizing these differences in a blatant manner. I can remember Lori (not her real name) a student in one of the pre-k 3 classes shouting at Ms. Aberdeen (not her real name), “you ugly, you ugly, and you ugly.”  We tried to ignore it, but she kept on saying it. We were taken aback by her persistence.  I knew too that Ms. Aberdeen was so hurt, that she could only respond by saying, “that is not nice, Lori, you should not say that to anyone.”
Realizing Ms. Aberdeen’s hurt, I decided to take Lori aside and to talk to her about “name-calling” and its effects on others. I also used the incident as an opportunity to discuss with the class how to use polite and kind words to our friends and teachers. This I reminded them is how we show respect to our friends and teachers. In big things and little things (Derman-Sparks, & Edwards, 2010, p.83) emphatically warns us that “what may seem like “a little thing” by itself to you [us] can add up with other little things to cause serious harm-so don’t ignore it.” They further state that as educators we have to “be alert for indicators of discomfort or potential bias (e.g., anxiety, teasing, name calling or exclusion) and be sure to learn more about possible underlying causes as you [we] plan further action”(2010, p. 83).
By our responding firmly to Lori’s name-calling we may have communicated that she was doing something to make her teacher hurt or sad. We hoped too as (Pelo, 2008) suggests in the days to come we would have equipped our students with the “skills and strategies” they will need to develop more understanding and respect for differences in their lives.
Therefore, as the course media on “Start Seeing Diversity: Physical Ability and Characteristics" points out we can support children like Lori to view differences in people by using a variety of pictures of people to point out that people come in different shapes, looks and sizes. As we help them to sort these pictures we ourselves as educators can tell them that we have friends and even family members that shape and look differently from each other. The work of the anti-bias educator is ongoing and never –ending and even when it may seem impossible to achieve, it is hoped that in every classroom where the work is carried out by modeling respect and acceptance for each other, our children will be able to counteract their own biases (Pelo, 2008).

References
Course Media: "Start Seeing Diversity: Physical Ability and Characteristics"
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Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children
and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC).
Pelo, A. (Ed.) (2008). Rethinking early childhood education. Milwaukee, WI: Rethinking Schools.





5 comments:

  1. Yes that is one thing I have found about children is that they will say anything they want to no matter if it is good or bad. Children say what they see. I have had children call me fat or ask me if I have a baby in my belly hundreds of times, because they are just commenting on what they see. Children are taught to notice differences in people, but what we should be teaching our children is to look past those differences and see people for who they truly are on the inside. Great blog

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    Replies
    1. Colleague Lindsay:
      Yes, children do say what they see. I also agree with you that they have to be guided to look past differences and to guide our students to see the beauty of respecting and appreciating others. Thank you.
      Sharon.
      Sharon

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  2. Sharon,

    Thank you for your post! The example you provided is a great one because it is a common one heard from children. I wonder what Lori's concept of ugly is because we all have a different concept of words. I also wonder if Lori had been told she was ugly at some point from someone else and was possibly saying it as a reflection from a previous experience she had.

    Nicolette

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  3. Colleague Nicolette:
    We really do not know. However, we recognize that Lori needs a great deal of support and positive statements of "I love you, Lori, you can do it " or hugs and back rubs to calm her and help her in her behavior management. Thank you for visiting my post.
    Sharon.

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  4. Hi Sharon,

    I think handle that you handled that situation very professionally. Children have to know they can express themselves because. how else are you going to know what they feel and think about. Of course, we know they will blurt out what they are feeling when they young. As anti-bias educators our job will be to let them know its o.k. to say what you feel but, you have to consider how it affects others and with the anti-bias teachers in this course, they will get all the help and understanding they will need. Good job.

    Kathleen

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